But, yeah, I think the narc would probably come after you and step up the smear campaign. The man I lived with would lock himself away for days during the silent treatment, stay on the computer all day, not even look at me when he had to walk by me. It always seemed like I was set up to prove against all odds that their was a such thing as a picture perfect relationship! I wound up here because of a dysfunctional parent and wanting to learn how to constructively deal with them. It's so hard for me to live my life as usual, when my whole body-mind-emotions are focused on this situation and being so sad about it. Try and really wrap your mind around this : you can only change yourself, and how you perceive the situation. The house closes in 3 weeks and then I hope to never see this person again as long as I live.
Is there any hope for someone to overcome those traits in a context like that? He usually calls or texts me every hour or so. He also told me that we won't be seeing each other over the next two weeks because he doesn't even have money for a bus ticket! He said I drive him to his male lover by not appearing to be happy with the wonderful life he made for me and our two little boys. But qhen I try to explain to him why. After we make up, I always tell him that his silent treatment is very unhealthy and hurts me emotionally. It's very important to think about how to do this respectfully so the other person doesn't feel defensive! Please give me any suggestions as to where I did wrong.
I thought what can I do and have tried to be friends as you describe to rebuild our relationship. Problem — — only the silent one matters in that equation — narcissistic at the least. My son married a very interesting young lady. The echo chamber is deafening. I believe it is a part of what makes healing from it such a long and difficult process.
Sometimes I've said something wrong, I realize it and apologize after the silent treatment. Individuals who have narcissistic tendencies have great difficulty owning responsibility and having accountability for their actions. He becaimes uncontactable for long periods of time. The boundaries of which you speak were broken by her- name calling, rage, inability to tell the truth…. Being available at all, which it sounds like you still are, prevents the narc from hitting any walls in his own behavior. Do Not Try to Argue With Them Someone who is giving you the silent treatment is probably someone who is incredibly angry with you to begin with.
Violet I have been dealing with this Silent treatment for over 30 years and it is just as painful now as it was the first time. It continued all through my childhood and even now at the age of 50 I am still getting abused. I gave him space and slept on the couch. You cannot work on issues in your relationship if one or both of you refuse to discuss them. You can't change him, of course, and you've taken an important first step when you recognize that your own actions can contribute part of the problem. It sounds like your new found freedom is very recent and that makes you the brave one. If you find yourself sounding like you're making a demand or you feel like you're about to! At least this is what I am hoping for although in life there will always be someone out there who cannot resist beleiving a good line!! I cared much about the relationship.
In the beginning he was so sweet and we could discuss anything. Dear Terry: It sounds like your wife is being emotionally abusive. If a man or woman uses the silent treatment as a form of passive 'abuse', I see no reason to stick around. She was mad because i spoke about the way i felt. I am lost without you. There must be some way for me to learn how to deal with the silent treatment in my marriage. I have an unquenchable thirst for affection and appreciation.
Could it be that it is not always their fault, but that other people that were part of a their lives did something to damage them and cause them to raise narcissistic defences? I have cut and paste it into my self help therapy page. My narcissistic husband was mad because he was 30 minutes late for work and he yelled at me. I broke it off because of his lack of reciprocity in the relationship. It is hurtful and is a type of emotional abuse that is used as a manipulation tactic. There are entire books devoted to identifying and explaining the many, many important elements of this type of relationship.
She said that it is up to me to contact her. I will be happy regardless!! Some men need that sort of thing just the way some of us women need fashion advice or cooking tips. Sometimes for weeks or months at a time. Also let him know that if he raises his voice, you will ask him to lower it and if he does you will continue the conversation. I am often on the receiving end.
All I could think about was you. He would never respond with empathy and say poor thing babe hope you feel better later. In my case I am in a profession which required thorough psychological testing before getting through, and incidentally she had applied for something similar but had miserably failed in the interview, probably because of the psychological test that must have found out her crapped up soul. We are now here in May and I consider myself single but I remain in denial about the entire falling out of our relationship as I struggle to comprehend the consecutive days and weekends I expirenced of unanswered phone calls and text messages. But then you do that, and it still isnt because they are never happy.
To be honest with my health I just want to be happy and have some time to myself without walking on egg shells so i have found somewhere to live have been hiding money in my own account I have to leave. Thank goodness for them or I would be wreck!! I didn't offer him money because in the past he told me that he won't borrow money because it would mean that he must give it back! Sorry folks, but this is what happened. Ultimately, all that happened, was we got sucked back in to the crazy whirlwind for another punishment for disloyalty. Meanwhile, I am reading every article I can find here on the internet that can help me deal with this situation. It started very young with me out of 4 other siblings, two older sisters included.